Champions' League 2013, Round of 16

As usual, I'd like to post my predictions for the Champions' League somewhere public. This keeps me honest if I'm wrong, and allows me to gloat if I'm right. The round of 16 draw has been made, and it has set up some really interesting matches. Here's what I think about them.

Real Madrid vs Manchester United: This really could be the biggest and most exciting match-up this round. Not only are these two of the best teams in the world, but there are also so many interesting story lines to follow; how will Ronaldo play against his former team?; Is Mourinho going to replace Sir Alex after his eventual retirement?; What happens to Mourinho's job if he fails to beat United? Leaving the speculation aside, I think that this will turn out to be another classic tactical battle between Fergie and The Special One. While RVP seems to be the man in form at the moment, I think that United run the risk of being too dependent on him to rack up the goals. If Jose can find a way to neutralize him, and I bet he will, United may not have enough depth in the front line to make a difference. I'm going to call this one for Madrid. Prediction: Real Madrid

AC Milan vs Barcelona: Milan-Barca games are always great to watch, and I don't think this one will disappoint. The only difference between this year and previous matches is that Milan won't be able to compete. Their form in Serie A is poor, their players are all either too old or too young, and they can't seem to find their trademark balance of youth and experience this season. Barca, on the other hand, boasts Lionel Messi in the middle of the best season of his life. Not only is he the best active player in the world, he's quite close to becoming the best player of all time. Nobody can seem to mark him this season, and I think that he'll be too much for the Milan defense. This one's going to Barca. Prediction: Barcelona

Shaktar Donetsk vs Borussia Dortmund: This is going to be an incredible match-up of two teams at the top of their game. Shaktar is Eastern Europe's best chance at European success, and I was totally predicting them to upset some of the bigger teams. Unfortunately, Dortmund is coming off of one of the best seasons in German history, and I can't really see Shaktar standing in their way. Sorry Ukraine, but you're not getting any further. Prediction: Borussia Dortmund

Arsenal vs Bayern Munich: This is another easy one. Arsenal has been struggling of late, and I really can't see them being able to compete for at least another few years. Bayern, on the other hand, are looking to erase the memory of their penalty-shootout loss in the finals last season, and beating the snot out of another London team may just be the way to do it. Prediction: Bayern Munich

Valencia vs Paris Saint-Germain: I'm pretty surprised Valencia managed to make it this far after their incredible meltdown a few seasons ago. I'm also happily surprised that PSG is back in the running, after so many years of Lyon being the only French team to really compete in Europe. Valencia still has a ways to go, however, and PSG can count on a solid squad that plays incredibly well together. Also, they have Ibra. That man must be magic. Prediction: PSG

Galatasaray vs Schalke: It's great to see a Turkish team get out of the group stage, and there's no denying that Galatasaray has being playing great football as of late. But...the German teams are just too strong this year. The Bundesliga is quickly becoming Europe's best league, and Schalke shouldn't have too much trouble here. Prediction: Schalke

Malaga vs Porto: I have no idea how to call this one. Malaga were a bit of a surprise, and Porto does have a real habit of dropping the ball at this stage in the tournament. I think I'm just going to go with my heart and say that the Portuguese will beat the Spanish. That sounds good. Prediction: Porto

Celtic vs Juventus: Right off the bat I'm going to declare my bias. I'm a Juve fan, and always will be. No matter what our form is like, I'm going to call it for us. Luckily, we're in great form this year. Sure, we've lost two games, which is a disappointment after going all of last season undefeated, but we've still got way too much for Celtic. In fact, we're going to win it all this year. Sorry Celtic. Prediction: Juventus (obviously)

Ok, so I think the next round will look very German and Spanish, with a hint of Italian and French. Let's hope I'm right. Forza Juventus per sempre!

The Name

It shouldn't come as any surprise that Alien is one of my favourite movies of all time. I mean, look at the banner picture up there. And my profile pic. Oh, and my screen name on just about everything is Xenomorphs, named after Giger's terrifyingly beautiful nightmare monsters. The title of this blog is also named after Alien, and that is what I wanted to talk about today.

Films and books have to stand on their own merits, but their titles can have more far-reaching effects on our perception of these merits than we realize. I know it's a cliché to say that you can't judge a book by its cover, but in some ways you can judge it by its name. Or, at the very least, I think it's fair to say that your perceptions of a piece of fiction (either written or on film) are affected in some way by its title.

First off, a title can act as a signifier of the kind of film or book you're looking at. If, let's say, it's got a serious sounding title like Doomsday Book, or The Left Hand of Darkness, you know right away that you've got something with a certain amount of dramatic gravitas. On the other hand, you know that Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay is going to be more irreverent and comedic. Additionally, titles can help you avoid reading or watching something that you know you're not going to like, usually by situating the movie or book within a series or genre that you can't stand. When I see a movie called Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, or a book called Boomerang Bride, I immediately know to steer clear of them and find something else.

Titles also impart some thematic, poetic, or atmospheric qualities to their respective films or books. Dune conjures up images of sandy wastelands and searing emptiness, while Forbidden Planet just oozes mystery and potential danger. It is in this regard that Alien is such wonderful example of how important a title can be.

Dan O'Bannon, Alien's writer and creator, had originally called his screenplay Star Beast. That's alright, if you're making a cheesy B movie with ridiculous fake costumes and a thin, yet fun, storyline. For a film as dark and tense as Alien, though, Star Beast is way to campy. Can you picture the glistening, smooth-lined, bio-mechanical Xenomorph being referred to by moviegoers as the Star Beast? Something about that just doesn't sit right with me, probably because I think the name sounds somewhat silly and childish, not fitting for a parasitic death-machine. Alien, on the other hand, is minimalistic perfection.

Much of the terror inherent in Alien comes from not seeing the Xenomorph. Neither the characters nor the viewers know what it is, or where it is, until it's too late. With the alien constantly out of sight, viewers are forced to fill in the blanks with their own fears, a process that is always far more terrifying than just being shown a monster. Alien's title works in exactly the same way. It reveals nothing about the Xenomorph or the plot, allowing viewers to fill in the details. What it does do is equally as important. Simply using the word alien, and nothing else, allowed Ridley Scott to reveal nothing about the plot or characters to viewers, except for the fact that some kind of alien was involved. The word also suggests the idea of something foreign and dangerous that absolutely does not belong. The change in title from campy Star Beast to minimalistic Alien helps project the sense of unease and vaguely directionless fear that the characters feel for the first half of the film. It also amplifies the horror of the Xenomorph's presence in the second half of the film. In all, I think it's genius. However, the film does have another title, and I think it's even better.

Many of the non-English versions of Alien are actually titled The Eighth Passenger (in reference to the fact that there are seven crewmembers on the Nostromo until the Xenomorph hitches a ride inside one of them). Hopefully you recognize that name by now (where have we seen it?!). For me, this title does even more to reflect the film's atmosphere of uncertainty and claustrophobia than does Alien. Not only does The Eighth Passenger leave much unsaid about who or what the passenger is (allowing you to fill it in with something frightening), it also points out that there is no escape for the other seven people. A ship, or a plane, or whatever you're a passenger on, is a closed environment, somewhere with no escape. This title thus emphasizes the fact that the rest of the crew is trapped with this undescribed but obviously dangerous eighth passenger, and that is exactly how much of the film's horror is generated. This title, then, helps to both create and add to the film's overall theme and tone. Rather than being just a silly tag that distinguishes this movie from others, it actually plays an integral part in generating some of the fear that viewers are meant to feel. Pretty good for something as trivial as a title, eh?

 
Ok, this was far less intellectual than previous posts, but it was what I was thinking about today. I hope you come back again soon. Maybe I'll be more interesting. Or maybe not.